Exchanging postal addresses

1 Share it in a conversation

The simplest way. Write to a penpal, get to know each other a little, then use the ✉️ share address button in the bottom left corner of the message box to offer them your address.

Please do not type your address into a message. Until you and a penpal have built up trust, typed contact details — postal addresses included — are removed and may lead to a warning. The button exists so you can swap addresses safely instead.

Your penpal is asked whether they would like your address, and it stays hidden until they accept. If they would rather not, you are not told why — and nothing is used from your allowance.

You will need to have written to each other at least twice before the button becomes available. While you are still building trust, free members can swap addresses with 2 new penpals a month and Premium members with 5. Once trust is established in a conversation, there is no limit.

It is good penpal etiquette for whoever started the conversation to post the first letter. This option is available to everyone, free of charge.

2 Receive surprise mail

Your profile form has an optional Postal address box where you write your address just as it would appear on an envelope — your full name on the top line, then street, town and postcode. Your country is added automatically.

Saving your address is not enough on its own. Surprise mail is opt-in: on the My postal address page there is a tick box, “Also let me receive surprise mail”. Tick it and you can start receiving lovely surprise letters in the post from penpals all over the world. Leave it unticked and your address is still saved — it simply stays private, ready for the times you choose to share it yourself.

You can edit both at any time from My postal address in the Snail mail menu, and the same address is used everywhere you choose to share it.

Your address is never shown publicly. Even with the box ticked it can only be reached by a member who holds snail mail credits and chooses to spend one to add you — and only if they fall inside the age and gender preferences set on your profile. You stay in control of who can write to you by post.

Screenshot: the optional postal address section on your profile form.

3 Collect addresses with snail mail credits

Want to write first, without waiting for a reply? Snail mail credits let you collect the postal address of any member who has added a postal address and opted in to receive surprise mail — both are needed, so an address on its own is never enough. They are a separate add-on and are not included in Premium membership.

Credits also work inside your conversations — once you have used your monthly address exchanges, one credit unlocks an extra exchange.

1. Get snail mail credits from the upgrade page. They are usually sold in packs (for example, 10 at a time) — one credit collects one address.
2. Search for penpals who have registered a postal address. Tick the With postal address filter so your results only show members you can write to by post.

   

   Screenshot: the “With postal address” filter checkbox.

3. Open a profile and click the Get Snail mail button. Their full mailing address is added to your Snail Mail Contacts and one credit is deducted.

   

   Screenshot: the “Get Snail mail” button on a profile.

4. That is it — you can start writing straight away, with no wait for a reply.