Writing your first message to a new penpal
Your first message decides whether a friendship starts, so it’s worth a few minutes. Here’s what works on Global Penfriends — and the few things to avoid.
1 million+ members · 195+ countries · 30+ years connecting penpals
What to put in your first message
- 1Say what caught your eye. Mention something from their profile — a hobby, their country, a book they love. It shows you’ve read it.
- 2Introduce yourself. Your first name, your country or city, and a little about your everyday life.
- 3Share a couple of interests. Give them something to reply to — maybe you have a hobby in common.
- 4Ask one or two easy questions. Keep them light: “How long have you been horse riding?”, not anything too personal.
- 5Sign off warmly, but not too warmly. “Best wishes” or “Your new friend” is perfect — “Love” or “Hugs and kisses” can scare people off.
A few friendly paragraphs is plenty — long enough to be interesting, short enough to answer.
Three things to avoid
Don’t copy and pasteThe same message sent to lots of people gets few replies. Write each one for the person reading it.
Don’t share contact detailsEmail, phone numbers, social media and addresses are removed until trust is built, and can lead to a warning.
Don’t pressure themSkip “I’ll be disappointed if you don’t reply”. Thank them for reading and wish them well — they’ll write back if it’s a good fit.
No reply yet?
Don’t take it personally — people get busy, and not every match is right. Writing to a few people at once works best. If it’s been a while, a short, friendly follow-up — something like “Hope all is well with you!” — is a kind way to check in, with no pressure. What to do when a penpal goes quiet.
How to make your first contact →