I am a poet, caregiver for elderly by profession. Eldest and boyish girl. I'm a late bloomer. Why? When I was a kid I always dream to have a prince charming...I have many actor/artist crushes like Devon Sawa, Nick Carter, Macauley Culkin, Ashton Kutcher etc. then at the age of 14 I have huge crush to many girls in the school campuz...i find them very beautiful, talented...but at the same time I have a male penpal in USA...we've been writing for 3 years...he became my BF, but then he change...he likes to talk dirty on the paper and have so many weird fantasies that I can't take. Then he told me the truth that he is in state prison. I am hurt and it feels like I hate making friends and trust men again...then I continue crushing on girls...and have an only Girlfriend for more than a year and we go separate ways...even we are faraway to each other we still communicate. She is like my bestfriend, my family. I don't tell her that I am looking for a male penpal. I don't want to spent my life to a female...I want a man in my life and I can assure you I will be a good mother and a wife.